What is Conscious Living?

Conscious living?  Before I started my "inward" journey, I remember wondering what people meant when they spoke about "conscious living".  Aren't we all conscious?  My thought was that only people in a coma weren't living consciously.  And perhaps a person who was seriously drugged out wasn't totally conscious.  And if it was true that living consciously was an "enlightened" way of being, why was that?  What the heck was I missing? 

It seems to me now that I really can observe myself.  Observe what I am doing, thinking and saying.  I remember doing that as a young kid at times, watching every move I made and everything I said or thought.  It felt like I was in a movie.  And sometimes I would "watch" myself doing things that I didn't want others to see.  Maybe it was because I was being goofy, or acting like the silly "me" that others wouldn't accept.  None the less, at times I watched my thoughts and actions and feelings.  Now I believe that watching ourselves like that is what being awake and conscious really means.  And at first I found it difficult to do that for extended periods of time. 

The Buddhists call the part of us that can pay attention to what we are paying attention to, the "observer self".  Emmerson said "stand guard at the portal of your mind" and I believe this is what he was talking about.  Watch to see what thoughts have more power and potency behind them.  Usually the fearful thoughts, or thoughts about something we are totally passionate about, are the thoughts with more "punch" and power behind them.

Pay attention to your desires and discontent.  You'll learn a lot about yourself.  :o)